noise

              I’ve always been a bit of an introspective person. My training in counseling psychology, for better or worse, has allowed me to have even more insight on my inner thoughts. In general, I have come to realize that I have an unhealthy relationship with food. This may sound obvious to some, but not everyone that gains weight has an unhealthy relationship with food. I live by myself and I don’t do much other than go to work. It’s much easier to find joy and happiness sitting on the couch with my bffs Ben and Jerry than to force myself to go out and run on my own.  (Again, also because of my fear of failure). I have used food as a comfort and to make myself happy and it’s really hard to break myself of those habits It’s so comfortable and easy for me. People make change sound so easy, but it really isn’t. If you’re someone like me that has deep seated issue, it’s really going to take a lot of time and failure in order for me to accomplish my goals.

                I feel that in order for me to really change on the inside, I have to be able to quiet the noise in my brain about food. To me, noise is anything that is preventing you from finding your happy.  To be fair, the concept of noise was first brought to my attention after reading “A Place of Yes” by Bethenny Frankel awhile back.  It makes absolute sense. You have to quiet the background noise of “no, you can’t do it” before you can proceed with “yes, you can do this and be successful at it.” I have a lot of noise with food because I have never been happy with the body that I was given. It all goes back to me never thinking that I was good enough. I need to realize that I am good enough; that I deserve to be happy, no matter the label on my skirts, or the number on the scale.

                I’ve technically been “back” on WW since this week, but I haven’t really. In fact, I’ve gained 1.4 lbs since I weighed myself last Sunday. But I really will be back tomorrow. I’ll be tracking my weight and my measurements, as usual, and I will be posting them tomorrow. I also took pics earlier this week and I may or may not post them  :)

Until next time.
tds.