disappointment.

I'm updating from my blackberry so this will be short and simple.

I'm really disappointed in myself and how I have been not being good to my body. I lost a little bit of weight and got cocky. all of my hard work is going away because I got lazy. 

Now begins the hardwork.

Xxxo

frustrations.

I am getting really frustrated with this weight loss thing. I haven't lost a anything since my 4 week weigh in. In fact, I've only gained it. I know that I haven't been working out like I should and I WILL start doing so. I have absolutely no excuses.

This also goes to show that you will gain weight back if you don't watch what you eat and know what makes you gain weight. My body loves carbs and sugar. I've been eating oatmeal every morning for like two weeks now. Despite the fact that oatmeal is healthy for you,  I think I've been overdoing it and my body is repaying me for that fact. I really need to cut out my love of sugar. It's so hard to re-train your brain and tastebuds about how something should taste. I am getting better though; I used to use 14 packets of sugar in my hot tea (16oz) when I was in college. Yeah, told you I was getting better.

I really need to start working out next week. I need the weekend to clear my headspace and mentally prepare myself. I know that I can do it...it just takes patience (which I usually don't have)

xxxo.

choices.

I'm back. Since my last post I had my weekly weigh in and I'd lost 7 lbs since I started. Yayyy!

However, this week was really rough. I started my period and I've gained water weight. Since I saw that I gained water weight, I decided to say fuck it for the most part. I've been eating out for lunch (although as healthily as possible) and I've also been eating chocolate like a fiend, which I know is so terrible for me.

I tend to reward myself on the weekends. Ex: last weekend I had Chinese food, weekend before that I had ben and jerry's after dinner. Tonight I almost ordered a pizza for myself. At first it was just going to be a personal size. Then I wanted a regular size. Then I wanted cheesecake to go along with my regular size pizza.

Then I realized that I didn't need any of it. I often get disappointed by little things that I do, and I let them takeover all of the goals I have accomplished so far. I'm definitely not perfect, but I am trying really hard to make better decisions. So, instead of spending money on food that I know won't make me feel better, I'm going to be ordering 2 Jillian Michaels workouts and heating up my beef stew that I made from scratch.

Somethingelse that I've learned so far on my journey is that I love cooking. And I'm actually pretty good at it :) I've gone a bit out of my comfort zone in terms of my cooking, but I'm looking forward to pushing  the envelope in that arena.

xxxo.