complications

     Surprise, surprise. My workout plans have stalled again. Only this time, it's not my fault. I swear.
I have no clue what I did to my shoulder/neck area, but I did something to it and it was hurting for the vast majority of last week. It felt better, but then it started hurting again this weekend. Ugh...I'll be taking ib for the rest of the week most likely. If it doesn't get much better, I'll have to go to the doctor...and I'm not in the mood to do that.

     Another complication that a lot of people don't think about is hair. I'm not a cute little white girl that can just toss her hair in a pony and go workout and wash it afterwards. I'm a black girl who spends a lot of money to get my hair chemically straightened and I cannot wash it every time I work out. I did a little research and found a sweat-wicking headband for cheap. I'm going to try and find it today so I can start working out tomorrow.

     Hmm...what else? Oh! I am really, fully committed to ww again. Meaning I went grocery shopping  so that I have real food in my house. One thing that I am trying my absolute hardest not to do is weigh myself every day. It's not healthy, it doesn't serve any purpose other than to frustrate me and it's a bad habit that I had gotten myself into.  Hopefully I can still try and lose 10 lbs by my birthday.

     xxxo.

2 months.

I've already weighed in and tracked my measurements for this week and here they are:
weight:172.8
waist: 33
hips: 38
thighs: 22.5
bust: 41.5  (side note: I'm not expecting this measurement to change much)
around belly (aka, love handles): 37.5

In comparision here's where they were when I weighed 177
waist: 33.5
hips: 40
thighs: 23
bust: 42.5
around belly: 38

So, there has been some change and I am glad that I've had a little bit of change. I keep a wall of wedding dress pictures up in my living room, hoping that it'll motivate me to want to work out. No one wants to look like  blimp on their wedding day. I'm getting married in two years, which means that I should have my wedding dress picked out and bought by next July or August. It's such a scary and exciting thought to me that in about a year from now, I will be trying on wedding gowns (finally) and making one of the biggest purchases of my life so far.

My 25th birthday is in 2 months, and so my new goal is to lose 10 lbs by then. Wish me luck :)

I am going to try and blog more regularly; at least once a week when I weigh myself. Which also means that I will stop weighing myself more than once a week. I feel like I never talk about the good things in my life, so next time I will do just that.

xxxo

noise

              I’ve always been a bit of an introspective person. My training in counseling psychology, for better or worse, has allowed me to have even more insight on my inner thoughts. In general, I have come to realize that I have an unhealthy relationship with food. This may sound obvious to some, but not everyone that gains weight has an unhealthy relationship with food. I live by myself and I don’t do much other than go to work. It’s much easier to find joy and happiness sitting on the couch with my bffs Ben and Jerry than to force myself to go out and run on my own.  (Again, also because of my fear of failure). I have used food as a comfort and to make myself happy and it’s really hard to break myself of those habits It’s so comfortable and easy for me. People make change sound so easy, but it really isn’t. If you’re someone like me that has deep seated issue, it’s really going to take a lot of time and failure in order for me to accomplish my goals.

                I feel that in order for me to really change on the inside, I have to be able to quiet the noise in my brain about food. To me, noise is anything that is preventing you from finding your happy.  To be fair, the concept of noise was first brought to my attention after reading “A Place of Yes” by Bethenny Frankel awhile back.  It makes absolute sense. You have to quiet the background noise of “no, you can’t do it” before you can proceed with “yes, you can do this and be successful at it.” I have a lot of noise with food because I have never been happy with the body that I was given. It all goes back to me never thinking that I was good enough. I need to realize that I am good enough; that I deserve to be happy, no matter the label on my skirts, or the number on the scale.

                I’ve technically been “back” on WW since this week, but I haven’t really. In fact, I’ve gained 1.4 lbs since I weighed myself last Sunday. But I really will be back tomorrow. I’ll be tracking my weight and my measurements, as usual, and I will be posting them tomorrow. I also took pics earlier this week and I may or may not post them  :)

Until next time.
tds.