Everything that we do as humans has its motivation, whether it's conscious or unconscious. I feel that I've been trying to accept my weight. Bear in mind that accepting it is not the same as being happy with it. Nevertheless, I just can't accept that this is who I am at the moment and it's making me face some of my inner demons. Trite phrase, but its true. I know that I eat for comfort. I know that it's a lot easier to order out (ugh, don't get me started) instead of gathering the energy to cook.
Tonight I realized that I am a food addict. As someone in the mental health field, I was kinda weary of when people would use this as a reason to explain their weight gain and/or spending habits. I'm acting like a lot of people with a 'traditional' addiction. I'm lying to those around me about the extent of the problem, I get a rush when I'm around my addiction and mainly, it's a substitute for what's missing in my life. I've been really unhappy with a lot of things and food makes it better. Temporarily, at least. In the next few weeks, I will be making upcoming changes to myself as a whole that will help me feel better, both inside and out.
Next entry will be soon :)
xxxo
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